Learning

I wrote this a while ago...July 2009 to be exact.

I can’t let my emotions run away with my desires. I ask the Lord to keep me grounded with all that’s going on. My heart aches and goes back and forth and sometimes in circles because I question if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know the future, and every second is a new feeling, but I’m believing and holding on to faith. Though the world may say its impossible or that I’m wasting my time, I know God has a bigger plan. I just need to keep asking him for guidance and strength. I need to keep seeking his will. Apart of me hopes and dreams for things that are far off and in a way it saddens me because I wish things were different. But I’m learning there’s a reason to all this. There’s a reason to these feelings and these situations that build up to something greater that God has planned. And though it may hurt right now and I may be lost in confusion at times, I just need to hold on and trust in Him. No matter what happens I can’t lose faith because I know the Spirit is always working. He never stops. Maybe I’m foolish and maybe I’m crazy, but I know in my heart that God is powerful. I know he works for our good and wants us to be close to Him. I am convinced that I will see great things. Though things may fall apart all around me, and just when it seems like things are only getting worse, I know that if I just hold on a little tighter and trust a littler harder I will see the goodness of God. I can’t let go in the middle of the storm. I can’t stand down just when the winds start to get stronger. I need to stand firm. I can’t back down yet. I don’t want to give up… I know God can do impossible things. Even now he is working.