Just felt like writing.

Sometimes I stay up late and do absolutely nothing. Last night I stayed up late and watched an old movie I haven't seen in a long time. It made me happy. It gave me a feeling of nostalga that took me back to days of summer when school was out and I could feel the night breeze as I watched the tv in black and white.
Lately its hard finding those truely happy exciting moments. Funny how they come out of things you don't expect. Even songs that you haven't heard in a long time can remind you of how you used to be or how you used to feel. Sometimes I think it's God's little remiders telling me not to worry so much. And boy do I worry. I'm offically an adult.
When I was younger I didn't understand what everyone older was freaking out about. I found joy in so many things. I didn't have to go looking for fun, I could just make it out of thin air. But I guess thats life huh? The older you get the crazier you become and the more worries you aquire. Well no thank you!
No wonder all those boys went to Never Never Land in Peter Pan. I'm not even old but worrying makes me feel old. And as I listen to these old songs I feel like I want to just go dance and not even care who is watching- To just be happy in the moment. Just run in the street and sing at the top of my lungs and spin in cirlces till I fall down. I wish I had the courage.
I have too many stories in my head and everytime I think of one its like a movie preview that plays in my head. I have the perfect song for each and these scenes keep replaying in my head over and over again. And there always seems to be this girl. Maybe this girl I imagine in my mind is who I really want to be. Carefree and crazy. And at one point maybe I was her, that is until I fell into this carvern called reality that horribily handicaps me. But even before it was never perfect. I want to start living carefree and crazy again-but not to the extreme of course. I just want to live in a land where those moments aren't so far off and laughter isn't so silent. I don't think this place is so far off. It might be hard locating once in a while but life's happy moments are everywhere- even in the midst of storms they prevail.
And to quote the beautifuly talented Adele, "Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere?" Well Adele, I'm just gonna keep chasing those pavements no matter where they lead, because with God, they'll always lead somewhere....