B positive.

I find it funny how I claim I love to write, yet the words in my head hardly ever get written on paper. I blame it on my laziness. Yes laziness the dreaded monster in my closest, that in recent years decided to come out of the closest, sit on the bed with me and convince me to eat chocolate and watch TV all day. Well maybe its not that bad...but it could get there.

I keep thinking what happened to my dreams?!? I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to make a difference. The ideas of how to do these things never seemed to enter my brain early on.
I find myself getting discouraged looking at my life and I feel like I haven't seen any tangible accomplishments. Sure I have my bachelors degree...in Art History. Don't get me wrong I fell in love with Art. I love museums, I love paintings, sculptures, all of it. Its fascinating to me. I love how all kinds of artists in all different eras can express their social, political and personal views through a form of expression that can be observed for centuries to come. It honestly amazes me. I know what your thinking, "Well Cassie why not work at a museum?" I'll pass. I love art, but honestly I don't want to spend the rest of my life talking about paintings.

I've always had this drive to work with people. I've always loved just interacting and helping people. I've also always loved to write. Writing has just always been an escape for me, but its something I've never thought about doing professionally.

This is where I can get so frustrated because there are just so many things I love to do I feel like I can't focus on one thing! I get so flustered with trying to do one thing that I switch gears and throw my focus onto another thing and that is when my mind starts to go round in circles. It's really quite irritating.

Then the emotions come out. I start to compare myself to other people who seem to have it all together. I begin to think I'm never going to do anything special with my life and I start to sulk. This lasts for a good couple of hours until I find a new idea and the cycle starts all over. Pretty pathetic huh?

Sometimes I just want to blame someone or something for my lack of focus! But as you the reader already know, (if you even got this far through my rant) there is no one to blame but myself.

The last time I wrote in my blog was a couple months after my dad died. Its almost been a year since he died and its in time like these I miss his wisdom the most. He just always had a way of calming me down and helping me see things clearly.

It was quite a special thing that happened today. In my moment of getting down after comparing myself to numerous people on facebook (which by the way no one should ever do!) I called my boyfriend Bryan and told him about my troubles. We've experienced the same struggles in a lot of areas as far as where life has taken us, and his wise words quoted from a Disney movie really lifted my heart. Yes he quoted a Disney movie, and not just any Disney movie, but one of my all time favorites, Mulan.

He said to me, "Cassie, you might not have it all together right now but Remember what the dad said to Mulan? He said "My, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all."

Maybe I'm just a late bloomer. I don't have my life figured out right now and I'm still struggling with so many passions in my head. I just thought that quote was so amazing and Bryan seemed to say it at just the right time.

What really touched my heart was remembering that in the movie it was Mulan's dad that said this to her. In my heart I thought about my dad. Maybe this was God's way of relaying my dad's message through Bryan. He knew I needed to hear his words of wisdom <3