Dear Daddy

I wanted to write you a letter because writing is one of the things I really love to do and I need to let you know what a wonderful father you have been. Its been two months since you left for heaven and I just really miss you. Those first few weeks after you died there was so much going on that I didn't feel really emotional. We moved to the new house. I never got to see the inside with you, but you and mom did a great job finding a place. I fell in love with it right away. You should see all the spiders though...I actually have to be brave and kill them myself! It's been super scary, but I'm getting more courage. You know how mom and I both HATE spiders. I miss the days where I could just call you from your office and you would be my exterminator! The dogs love it too. (And don't worry I'm taking care of your kitties.) Mom and I are still getting used to it, but it just doesn't feel as safe without you here.
Everyone has helped us out so much Daddy. You would be so proud of your sons too. Josh helped fix some things around the house when we first moved in and he still comes over when he has time to check up on us. Justin has just been really sweet too. He's been willing to help mom out every time she calls him. He's really stepped up to help in so many ways. Tricia has been wonderful by letting us use her spider spray and just getting little things we needed.
Mama has had her good days and bad days. I can tell she really misses you a lot. Well, we all miss you a lot. All your friends have been so great I know its cause you were always a loyal and good friend.
I'm still waiting for V to come on TV cause that was the show we used to watch together. I really hope they didn't cancel it. I loved sharing things with you. I really think its cause of you I like history so much. I remember in the beginning of the year you got me to watch Babylon 5 with you. I didn't really get into it, but I loved that I could watch it with you late at night. I always felt special when you asked me to do things with you. Remember when we went to that archery place and we looked at bows? Too bad we never got to set up targets in the back yard like we said.
I don't think I realize how much I miss you until I'm in the car. At the house there are distractions and at work I don't have too much time to let my mind wander. It isn't until I'm in the car that I start to remember you. I know that may sound weird, but I think I want to forget you're gone. I want to forget you were sick and that I lost you. I want to forget it all. But when I turn the radio on and I drive my thoughts just float to you. There are so many songs that come on and remind me of you. I remember just how you were so patient with me, and you always wanted to make me feel better when I was sad. I could talk to you about almost anything. There was one time, in high school, you picked me up and I was telling you I felt insecure around some other kids. I remember you told me that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I remember that to this day.
I loved talking to you about God. I know we went back and forth on a lot of things, but towards the end you taught me so much. One memory I will always cherish was right after your surgery. It was the day after and I came to visit you. As soon as I walked into the room you were excited to see me. I remember you asked me to take out the bible and read you scriptures on hope. After I read a few you asked for my hand and then mom's hand and wanted to pray. It was the first time I heard you pray in my life. I will forever love that memory. You just showed me through all this that I shouldn't be scared because God will take care of us. You were just so humble after you found out about the cancer, and I was amazed until the day you passed at how you dealt with everything. I couldn't of asked for a better man to be my father.
I wish I could of given you more. I wish I could of taken you to all the historic battle grounds and sites before you died. I wish we could of gone to Disneyland one more time. I wish we could even watch one more episode of Babylon 5. I know that I was blessed with all the time God let me have with you. I look forward to those moments in the car when I remember you, even if it does make me cry. I love you Daddy.
<3 Cassie